one more girl.

one more girl, added to the list.

a blade in her hand, blood down to her fist.

one more tear, falling down her face.

no matter her effort, she never wins the race.

one more thought, about ending her life.

how sweet it sounds, as she grabs another knife.

no one knows her story, only do they know her name.

her mother an alcoholic, ever is she filled with shame.

her father someone, she never even knew.

little do you know, she wishes she was you.

her sister only five, her cancer covered by a wig.

herself feeling insecure, no more eating, thin as a twig.

judging like it’s their job, are the people all around.

but she’s just a missing a soul,

that just needs to be found.

her hair’s too greasy, blemishes cover her face.

no one knows about, the dreams she’s trying to chase.

she just wants one friend, one person to be there.

she just needs one person, but they won’t even care.

she strives for perfection, she always tries.

but then crashes to reality, and away her fantasy flies.

she packs on the makeup, her teary eyes never show.

but it all goes unnoticed, and very well does she know.

she’s starting to give up, she ‘s tired of trying.

but she finds an alternative, of forever crying.

no longer does she care, let them see how weak she is.

for she’s been hiding her pain, since they were just kids.

she’ doesn’t want to try, no more tears left to cry.

every single day, all she thinks about is when she will die.

the sound of death, sounds better than ever before.

maybe in heaven, or even hell,

she’ll cry a little less, and smile a little more.

one last girl, added to the list,

had an opportunity for a good life, but sadly missed.

one last tear, leaves her beautiful brown eye.

it’ll get better, once she enters the sky.

one last thought, about her life god chose.

one last breath, one last gulp,

one last trigger pulled, and her eyes close.

untitled.

to the boy with beautiful eyes,

it feels like over a hundred years since you’ve been gone,

and i honestly have not one clue of what’s going on.

we got mixed up in all of the lies,

and i ended up heartbroken with my forever bloodshot eyes.

the truth is, i miss you, for you are my whole entire world;

but then again, i miss being a free, teenage girl.

know that i will never forget you and you’ll always have a place in my heart,

but i can’t help replay that fateful day where we fell apart.

i’m sorry that i didn’t say just how i feel.

but you see i was scared and sick, something only time will heal.

but then i found your dirty little secret that you hide under your shirt,

knowing that it’s my fault, you have no idea how much that hurt.

i’m just as well dead now, i give you my hollow self,

i guess i’m just another toy to be thrown onto the shelf.

another guy lost, another rip in life’s weak seams,

i’m faking smiles and hiding my silent screams.

maybe there’s another guy in my sight,

but i will never be able to thank you enough for saving me from the dark with your bright light.

you saved me; saved me from ending my life.

but maybe it will end soon, for i’m here with a knife.

for now, i’ll drop it, just for your sake,

but i feel like i’m broken,

will this be the last breath i ever take?

i keeping falling into the rabbit’s hole, i’m falling into my death,

but listen closely..

i’ll say “i love you” with my final breath.

untitled.

this feeling makes me sick to my stomach,

and my eyes fill with tears,

for my mind has gone blank

as i realize my fears.

there are too many scars on my skin,

and my heart is broken into a thousand shards.

this is a war that i will never win,

for the devil has laid out his cards.

so call me crazy, call me an outcast,

tell me i’m nothing

because i know that my life will not last.

so preach to me,

and try to make me one of you,

but i know who and what i am,

and to myself i am true.

so try to break me,

and tell me your lies.

try to change me,

and make me see everything through your eyes.

but i know what is right,

and i know what is wrong.

i have done nothing to you,

so why so you say that i do not belong?

i try and stand so i can talk to you,

but my knees are weak, 

and your words are not true.

don’t change me from what i am.

i have done nothing wrong,

and this is my last stand,

the razor gleams so brilliantly bright,

this i know, my last heartbreak was tonight.

so i take my life out of god’s hands,

into my own though you refuse to understand,

i did this for me and for you.

call me selfish and anything but one of you,

you always said there was no escape

but what about suicide?

yes, that is surely my fate.

untitledd.

the lights are turned off,

and the tears roll down my cheek.

thoughts are keeping me awake,

rain tries to lull me to sleep.

“you’re nothing short of trash,

not good enough for tomorrow.

you’re ugly and stupid,

you do nothing but cause sorrow.”

i try my hardest not to believe,

but i can’t help but know,

that all of it is true,

no matter how low.

must i wake,

to tomorrow’s light?

i’m growing very weary,

and becoming too tired to fight.

the mirror spits at me,

and my shadow runs away.

tears that refuse to fall,

as i pray for a new, better day.

i close my eyes,

but they just open to a dream.

everything is so much better,

than real life seems.

this is everyone’s, not only my, sweet escape,

for it’s the best in the world.

because one gets away from feeling so small,

that one small freedom for all.

untitled.

waking up at midnight,

then waking up at three,

i am not tired tonight,

what is wrong with me?

i wake up and don’t bother changing,

who cares about my hair,

i just want to leave these problems remaining,

because honestly, they are just too much to bear.

trying to make it through the day,

and just hoping that no one will see.

that i am not okay,

and this stress is killing me.

when it comes time to eat,

i sit with people, but i feel so alone.

i look away from them in defeat,

but all it does is makes me want to be home.

the final bell sounds,

everyone but me rushing out the door,

my surroundings seem so loud,

and i feel as if i’ve never heard them before.

i’m riding this endless journey,

but just wishing i were back.

i’ve heard nothing worth learning,

but learned more of the things i lack.

once i reach home,

i walk through the door.

not bothering to check my phone,

i throw my bag on the floor.

i walk into the shower,

and i think of tomorrow.

i sit there for hours,

drowning in my own sorrows.

there’s no hope,

and if there is, there is none for me.

there is no way to cope,

so i finally just set myself free.

words hurt.

behind the smile lies her secrets and fears,

that not even her closest friends will ever hear.

she’s trying and trying to hold it in tight,

but her emotions are too strong and she loses the fight.

as the day comes to an end,

she crawls into bed.

she feels her eyes fill with tears,

as they roll down her cheeks and into her ears.

headphones in and music blaring,

as she thinks to herself

“can i make it through another day?”

closing her eyes and clenching her fists,

little do they know they’re the reason her heart is in bits, 

be careful what you say.

you could be the someone to ruin a person’s day.

sonnet for english.

all hope is gone, the sun is nowhere near

the weightless snowflakes, go down with the flow,

when shall the death of nature disappear,

and the slight signs of spring begin to show?

as softly as a feather drifting down,

descending snowflakes, white as a dove’s wing,

they twirl and whirl, then land without a sound

hiding the very last remnants of spring.

though it seems that life may have gone extinct,

again the buds and blooms will come about

for after all the seasons become linked

the voice of life anew will sing and shout 

and though death of greatness comes every year

we rejoice when the beauty dances near.

untitled.

ugly things, they crawl in creeping,

rotting, clotting, slowly reeping.

i see myself in a corner crying,

cutting my skin, i am slowly dying.

i think about things that have come and gone,

all the things that always turned out wrong.

now i listen to my breath,

and welcome the sweet sound of death,

for what am i? no noble steed,

it is me that the world does not need.

it always shuns me and shuts me out,

so all i can do is cuss and shout.

walking into a room so dark,

it is filled with dreams, no smart remark,

i sit down, inside a chair,

ugly thoughts under my hair,

i think to myself, another ugly thought,

how bad to think, but others not.

suicide is my one and only true love,

that one true gift from up above.

a life that has been filled with so much anger,

i load the bullet in the chamber,

a life built upon depression,

my suicide will be a succession.

in my dark black room aside,

my empty thoughts do not abide,

i look into my ugly past,

and a breath, this will be my last.

i look into my one loves eye,

that love is now telling me to die.

in a ditch, in a plane,

my thoughts on death do not wane,

for my life is not worth living,

in my life, there is no giving,

and to my surprise, i see a face,

one with which is under a lace,

tied with brutal strength and cunning,

i pray on me, for my death is coming.

but that one true face, with the lace,

the knot is true, now say adeu,

for it is a hangmans noose,

always tight and never loose,

it is such a simple thing,

for with it, your insides wring,

i cry myself some silent tears.

so much depression, over the years, been absent through this is one 
true lie,

i might as well, drop and die,

so i go to the one true place,

to buy lead and a barrel of space.

buy nine pounds, each one diameter,

write it down, inside your planner.

put nine pounds inside my head,

i know the world wants me dead,

up in blood, i start to cough,

i will soon live inside a bolted coffin.

do not open the forever closed lid,

for my head, there is no bid.

everyone laughs and no one cries,

no one chants, but everyone lies.

so now i pull it off my shelf,

thinking how worthless is myself,

i pull out my blue steel,

no one really knows how i feel,

but honestly, who cares, it does not matter,

for it is just my dreams you shatter.

crying in an empty room,

the last thing i hear is a big boom,

i an swallowed into the pitts of hell,

my suicide was done quite well.

no use of a rope, steel, or injection,

my suicide was a huge succession.

under water, over the hills,

swallowing those big blue pills,

i look into my one loves heart,

suicide is a true art.

some forgiveness for life is lent,

their life long story will not be spent.

but i choose to pay my deed

it is me the world does not need.

i pull the trigger, now i’m done,

for none really cared, about this one.

untitled.

just a girl, ashamed by her looks,

glasses covering her eyes, nose in her books. 

unnoticed she walks, 

as she is pushed to the ground,

people start laughing,

they’re already used to the sound. 

just a girl, music as her only friend,

the lyrics are her story, and have become her only way to vent. 

blocking the world out, she lets those words sink in. 

hurting herself, was her only sin. 


just a girl, playing victim as her job, 

bullied every day, knowing it’ll never end.

tired of life, there’s no more use in trying

feeling unloved, thinking hard of dying.


just a girl, had a chance at life, 

one more lost future, a husband without a wife. 

pills in her hand, this wasn’t the life she chose, 

her last tear falls, as she dies from an overdose.

untitled.

one beautiful girl, hiding behing her smile,

scars covered by bracelets, living a lie.

one beautiful girl, so popular she is,

dying inside, not knowing she’ll be missed.

one lonely girl, ignored by all,

a blade as her only friend, feeling so small.

one lonely girl, wall colliding with her fist,

loving the pain, blood dripping down her wrist.

one brave girl, beaten every day,

saving her little brother, standing in his way.

one brave girl, bruised and broken in her bed,

secretly thinking, i’m better off dead.

one caring girl, helping all the weak,

someone who can save her, is all that she seeks.

one caring girl, feeling dead inside,

her thoughts and scars,all that she hides. 

for girls, no one ever even knew,

what did we miss,

what were they going through?

people now noticing, slowly opening their eyes,

but too late it was,

they couldn’t even say goodbye.